She needed a hero, so that’s what she became.

I have stared at this blank space more than a few times, wondering where to begin. Well I came across the above quote on instagram, and it finally prompted todays post.

My experience as a wife and mother is a little unusual. My husband spends more than half his time working away. I stay home with the littles, and not so littles. It has always been this way, and we mostly love it. We miss each other,yes, but when he’s home we travel, take on DIY projects together and just generally enjoy the joys and challenges of raising our family.

When I drop him at the airport, hugs are given, bags unloaded and many times,there are tears. There is a figurative and literal taking of the wheel. I move over to the driver’s seat, scooting my chair way too close to the steering wheel (so I’ve been told), then an internal shift. There is a flash of fear, it’s all on me, and acceptance. I feel like I become my own hero every time. I pull out of the drop off lane knowing I will cook every meal, read every story, wash every dish, kiss every boo boo. I will support my big kids in their daily struggles, deal with teacher conflicts and bullies, birthdays without Dad, first days of school. More than once I have had to call an ambulance, knowing my husband will be unreachable for many hours. I have sat petrified, awaiting the results of a CT scan or a spinal tap. Thankfully everyone has emerged relatively unscathed on these occasions, but I do give myself credit for the brave face and calm demeanor I have been able to muster in the face of pure terror.

I know, of course, that there are many single mothers and military wives who deal with this difficult reality and more. I have tremendous respect for them.

Our strange schedule will affect this space in that, when my guy is home we will typically be ripping out old gross bathroom tile, or laying pretty new floors. Although, often we will down tools and hit the road. Choosing instead to explore with our kids, lest we blink and discover we’ve missed the chance. When he is gone I will typically spend more time on personal goals be they health and fitness, creative, or starting this blog!

For now, happily, he is home! We are currently ripping out said gross bathroom tile with our “super helper”in tow. Updates soon to follow!

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